The Single Mother Syndrome

Children and parents belong together in the family unit because it is essential for the child's mental health, care and overall well being.  People who have been married for well over twenty years or who have been married six months, divorcing since the late sixties and early seventies has become a growing trend.  Although this study is inclusive of single fathers the concentration of this thesis is about single mothers with children and their abondoment issues.  

            Statistically women raising children alone outweigh men raising children alone.  There are 82.8 million mothers in America based on the 2004 the United States Government Census.  Of that number 9.9 million are single mothers with children under the age of eighteen, compared to the 3.4 single mother homes there were during the 1970 census.  Of those mothers, 5.6 million are due child support according to the 2007 census (US Census Bureau, 2010).

            According to Grall, "Mothers accounted for the majority of custodial parents (82.6 percent) while 17.4 percent were fathers, proportions statistically unchanged from 1994."  (Grall, November 2009)  This is an astounding number, when a person stops to think about the progression of our society throughout the decades.  What happened to the days when "girls were girls and men were men?  Mister we can use a man like Herbert Hoover again, didn't need no welfare state- everybody pulled his weight," (Adams & Strauss, 1971-1979).

  These single parents are being left to "hold the bag" so to speak, while the other parent shirks their responsibilities to their children.  As stated previously, 17.4 percent of single parents are fathers who are facing what is commonly called depending what circle you travel in, "single mother's syndrome." 

            Many issues single parents face come into play once they and their children have been abandoned by their partner.  They face unemployment, for various reasons which do include the issue of child care.  When a child gets sick you cannot leave them in daycare nor can you leave them home alone on a holiday.  Some single parents attempt to "leave the children in the car while they work," unfortunately, this only causes them to lose their children for neglecting them although they are trying to do the opposite – it does not work out well. 

            "All these examples are simple snapshots of some groups which suffer from greater-than-average rates of unemployment. Unmarried women with children are more likely to be found in all those group pictures than married women because they are younger, less educated and more racially and ethnically diverse. Even if they faced no additional workplace discrimination aimed at their marital/maternal status, these factors place them at a higher risk of joblessness than other women," (Goodrich, 2010).

"That higher risk affects not only the single mothers themselves, but many of America's children. Having two adults capable of earning wages -- or at least of looking for jobs -- makes a big difference for the financial well-being of a family. Families headed by a single parent don't have that private safety-net. (This is true not only for families headed by an unmarried mother, but also for those headed by an unmarried father. Unfortunately, the BLS statistics don't provide information of the latter group.) With one-fifth of all children growing up in families headed by a single mother, and an estimated additional 5 percent in families headed by a single father, one in four of America's children are therefore affected by what happens to single-parent families,"(Goodrich, 2010).

Goodrich has laid out an element that is detrimental to a families function, economic hardship.  After a single parent cannot find employment they ususally rely on family, move in with them or end up on the welfare line.  This is a hardship to the economy and to the family now.  By a person's partner abandoning them and their children, it starts to hurt the community.  It is the role of men and women to maintain the family unit so chilidren can grow up confident, strong leaders of our nations. 

Another hardship faced for a single parent is the guilt and shame of being abandoned by their partner with the children.  The parent needs to personally deal with their feelings while dealing with their children's feelings as well.   They personally face unanswered questions they are still trying to cope with while dealing with their child's issues from that matter.  This does not promote good mental health for families or society as a whole. 

How did America get to this place?  It happened slowly starting in the days of the sexual revlolution.  Equality is a blessing that all men and women should have, however the burning of bras and promotion of switching sexual partners has changed the world.  Our forefathers, though repressed in many ways-had a good grasp of values and how to be "a family."  People stuck by one another and were willing to go the distance.   America got this way through its very own devices of self destruction and no one cared enough to lift her up.
            Now we live in a society that calls good evil and evil good.  We honor politicians that have affairs, celebritites that live alternative lifestyles and those who are well known no matter what they do.  We raise them up as our examples, and then knock them when they fall (ex. Tiger Woods, Anna Nicole Smith, Charlie Sheen).  When in fact when they fall we should be the first to rise up and encourage them to get back up.  We, as Americans-call good evil and evil good.  Archiac as thesse things sound, there is a place for it.

It's time to go back to the basics again- where family was more valuable than one's personal needs.  A family is not there nor is a spouse to meet one's needs; they are there to be there for you no matter the need or problem.  They are your support system when you face life's tribulations.  By maintaining home and hearth we keep that old fashioned healthy society we once had in America because it's the only way to cure the disease known as, "single mother's syndrome." 

References

Adams, C., Strauss, L. (Writers), & Lear, N. (Director). (1971-1979). Those Were The Days [Motion Picture].

Goodrich, J. (2010, March 2). Truthout. Retrieved November 23, 2010, from www.truth-out.org: http://www.truth-out.org/unemployment-statistics-obscure-hit-taken-by-single-moms57483

Grall, T. S. (November 2009). Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support-Current. Unknown: US Census Bureau.

Kassay, K. (2005-2010). Mason Thomas. Retrieved November 11, 2010, from Caringbridge.com: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/masonthomas

Regional Linguist Services US Department of Justice. (2010, August 23). Justice Department Seeks Ebonics Experts. Retrieved November 5, 2010, from The Smoking Gun : http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/justice-department-seeks-ebonics-experts

Ronadld Macdonald House. (2010). Retrieved 11 11, 2010, from RMDH: http://www.rmdh.org/RMH-Program/Partner-Hospitals

Unknown. (2010). Sloan Kettering Memorial Hospital. Retrieved November 11, 2010, from MSKCC.org: http://www.mskcc.org/mskcc/html/2868.cfm

US Census Bureau. (2010, July 2). Retrieved November 23, 2010, from www.census.gov: http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/cb10-ff09.html